IHUNANYA, THE IGBO CONCEPT OF LOVE

Ihunanya means Love in Igbo language.

When broken down, it reveals the Igbo people's concept of love.

'Ihu' means 'to see'

'nanya' means 'with the eyes'

So ihunanya means 'To see with the eyes'. By this interpretation, it means that the Igbo people believe that love is a function of the sight. Love is inspired by what you see with your eyes and maintained by what you see with your eyes. Although this sounds like 'fake love' because love should not just lie with what a person sees but should be unconditional.

However, there lies truth in that concept.

When you love someone, you have eyes for that person only. You may see every other man or woman but your eyes (attention and interest) have been captured by just that one man or woman. That is why you hear people say, "I have eyes just for you" or "I see you." These statements are traced to the Igbo concept of love which is seeing only that person with your eyes. It means he/she has become the centre of your focus and attention.

Character and virtue inspires love. Everyone has a need and desires to have such need satisfied. When we eventually SEE the characteristics which we craved for in a thing or a person, love for that thing or person develops. Therefore, it is the nature of the person or thing that inspires love in another. It is not surprising that the Igbo people place much value on character and virtue. Most people marry a lady because of her good behavior and lifestyle, inspite of her physical beauty. Most times, when a woman is only beautiful and lacks good character, she is despised and people discourage their own from marrying her. The 'Ihunanya' there, is the character and virtue the lady portray. That is the magnetic force!

Again, the Igbo people believe that although you may not have known someone for a long time, love grows and develops as you continuously see the person with your eyes. There is an adage that says, "Out of sight is out of mind." Therefore, present in sight is present in mind. It is the one you see and feel his/her presence that is retained in your mind. That is why it is believed that when a man and a woman start to live together as a married couple, their love will grow since they keep seeing themselves. They will start to understand themselves and how to please each other. 

Furthermore, it also deals with presence and availability. There is a general distaste in the Igbo culture for the arrangement of a couple staying a long distance from each other. Although there may be trust between them, but the concept of love of the Igbo people holds that lovers should always be present and available for each other. The love bond is weakened by distance because love needs to be fed by presence. Therefore, it is feared that another person who is present and available may take the place of the absent lover in the heart of the other. Even to this present day, the Igbo people do not encourage long distance relationship or marriage. To them, the fire of love burns hotter as lovers are together. Therefore, no matter the kind of work that is done by any of the lovers, they always need to be present and available. Love is about satisfaction of the needs of the other person you claim to love. Emotional needs are at the top of the list and they cannot be satisfied when there is a chasm of distance. Material needs may be satisfied at a distance but they are not enough.

Finally, this Igbo concept of love is what children believe in. They need to see their parents with their eyes, have them present and available in their lives, and have them be part of their growth.

People generally need to feel the presence and availability of those they love and that love them...everyone needs IHUNANYA.

With Ihunanya from,

Chiderah Beulah Ojukwu.