Chiderah writes

  Penis size is not the measure of a man. There is a conversation about men that we need to have, and more importantly, a conversation that men need to have with themselves. For years, men have been subjected to an extraordinary amount of psychological pressure by society about what it means to be "a man." You must be strong. You must be muscular. You must be sexually dominant. You must have a large penis. You must last long. You must have multiple women. You must never cry. You must never appear weak. You must always know what to do. You must lead. You must win. And, above all, you must prove your manhood to other men. Masculinity, somewhere along the line, stopped being something a man simply IS and became something he is expected to constantly PERFORM. And nowhere is this more obvious than in conversations about sex. It's like...a penis size Olympics. Men compare penis sizes. They boast about them. They joke about them. They exaggerate them. And so...

If the world was so safe for women, If men were not the greatest predators of women, why do we have countless instructions, lessons, and cautions for young girls and women on how not to get sexually assaulted by men? There's a failure in the society and its institutions to call out rape and sexual assault for what it is, and address the real issue: Men are dangerous, beastly, and have to be put on check. Even the finest of them still have beastly instincts, waiting to be unleashed on a vulnerable woman or child. We get countless news of young girls and women getting raped and sexually assaulted. The question is, "By who"? Always a man! There's a recent case of a young girl who was raped by a known content creator, and she committed suicide because of the trauma. And what do we have? People blaming the victim for taking her life. As a society, we should be ashamed of ourselves! And you'll have some disoriented men come out to say, "...not all men..." You ...

We perpetuate trauma and the cycle of abuse when we encourage the continued existence of abusive marriages. Enduring an abusive marriage is not a show of grit. There's a difference between grit and self deprecation. If you have kids, and you are told that staying in a marriage where you are abused whether verbally, physically, emotionally, and more, is for your kids' benefit, that's a huge fraud. Research has shown that children that grow up in abusive homes tend to have lifelong trauma. If they are male, they tend to become abusers themselves; if they are female, they tend to become receptive of abuse from their male partners. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Go read about how being raised in an abusive home can affect children's neurological and cognitive development; its mental health outcomes, physical health complications, and social and behavioural challenges. You will end up destroying the lives of the children you thought you were protecting, and perpetuatin...

I'm convinced that envy stems from a lack of knowledge. Knowledge about you, knowledge about life...just lack of adequate knowledge. The more you grow in knowledge, the less you have to be envious of. What you'll then have, will be an admiration of things and traits; not an envy of the people who possess them. "This bag looks great." "I like how charismatic he is." "She is a really good business woman. I need to learn these business skills." Finish. When you come to terms with your person and who you are, you'll learn to appreciate who others are, celebrate them for their prowess, and leave it at that.  I get to admire some aspects of some people's lives and character, but I, surely, wouldn't want to be them.  It's not cliché talk...like, yo, for real, I can't be you.  I mean, by virtue of the kind of person I am, I might be exhausted by your profession or lifestyle. I may not be that passionate about what you do as you are, so ...

The inequality and prejudice that women face in society do not emerge out of nowhere. Their roots are deeply embedded in the family system. And that family system is, in many cases, shaped by cultural and religious teachings that reinforce the idea that women exist primarily for the benefit, service, and pleasure of men. The family is the smallest unit of society, and whatever is normalized within it is carried into the larger society - into our educational institutions, healthcare systems, workplaces, governments, and every other sphere of human interaction. As young as I was in primary school, I was taught in Social Studies that the nuclear family consists of the father, the mother, and the child(ren) - and  the father is the head of the family. Think about that for a moment. A little girl, barely six years old, is already being taught that a man is the authority in the most fundamental social unit. She observes that her father is served first, receives special portions of food, ...

  Photo credit: CBO creative planet . Have you heard of the term "The motherhood penalty"? It is the systemic disadvantage and loss of earnings women face in the workplace after having children, largely driven by lost career momentum, wage gaps, and caregiving biases. The severity varies globally based on cultural and economic factors. However, its impact is consistently felt across multiple areas of a woman's career. Research shows that in the U.S., full-time working mothers earn about 35% less than full-time working fathers. How will it then look like in Africa? Motherhood penalty does not only include wage gap, hiring and promotion bias, but also the "care penalty", where the burden of unpaid domestic labor and childcare disproportionately falls on women. The cost of child care is high and also is the cost of hiring domestic labour, hence, many women are forced to leave the workforce entirely or take reduced-hour/more flexible roles that pay less. If the...

  I was viewing a presidential contest program for young people, predominantly teenagers, who were given a topic to discuss: "What I will achieve if I become president for one day". The children were eloquent and made laudable submissions. However, each of the judges kept pointing to how unrealistic it would be to achieve those many goals they had listed within one day of being president. The other participants who were yet to present were seated in the audience when that was being pointed out, severally. But it didn't stop the subsequent contestants from presenting numerous goals to be achieved in a day of their becoming president. ❓The question then becomes: Why were the children unable to effect the needed changes to their submissions even after listening to the repeated corrections the judges made to the submissions of the previous candidates? 👉 If you are acquainted with the education methodology in many African countries, your answer would be, "Because the...

  One would think that with the vast amount of resources Africa exports, it would command a significant share of global trade. However, the contrary is the case. Africa accounts for only about 2% - 3% of global trade. Despite producing so much, the continent remains in the lower cadre economically and, by extension, politically. A major reason for this paradox is the over-reliance on foreign expertise, foreign brands, and foreign finished goods, as well as the continuous export of natural resources in their unprocessed state. Africa produces raw wealth but exports it without capturing its full value. Africa depends heavily on foreign goods and services. The continent imports extensively from Europe, America, and many Asian countries. Over time, a strong taste for foreign goods has developed, driving high levels of imports. Consequently, imports exceed exports, leaving little to no retained profit because foreign exchange earnings are recycled back into importation. It is deeply unf...

  Africa is like a woman. Hold that thought for a moment. Let me show you how I arrived there. Today, as I walked past a nursery school, something struck me. Those nurseries are paid to do a fragment - not even half - of what mothers do every single day. They care for the child for a few hours, five days a week. They supervise, teach a little, nurture a little, manage physical needs for a limited time. And they are paid. Recognized. Respected. It is considered a profession. A career. With job titles, promotions, pensions, global standards. But every afternoon, the mother comes to reclaim her child, and with that, she resumes the full weight of responsibility. The feeding. The clothing. The healthcare. The emotional stability. The discipline. The planning. The cleaning. The nurturing. The sleepless nights. And beyond that - she is also a wife, a confidant, a counselor, a financial manager, a cook, a housekeeper, an emotional support system, often a professional in ...

  💔 I need to kill a myth. Your children don’t love you because you suffered. Love and pity are not the same thing. They love you because you are their mother - because you were there for them. You played with them, listened to them, believed in them, and nurtured them. They love you because your presence was warm, not because your pain was visible. 👉🏿 Somewhere along the way, we were sold a lie - that a woman’s suffering is the "seed" for her children’s appreciation. That to be loved, a mother must labor endlessly, stretch herself thin, and lose herself in the process. But listen: if you have to nearly die before your children can appreciate you, something is deeply wrong. Children don’t crave your exhaustion; they crave your presence. 😀 They want laughter, not sighs. 😔 They want correction from love, not frustration. 😻 They want to sit and gist with you - not watch you bulldoze around the house, cleaning and cooking without end. I remember when I was a child - Saturda...

  Dear Gentleman, Welcome to the download section of What I Want Everyday - A 30-day Practical, Interactive Journal for the Men who want to Love their Woman. You've taken an important and life-changing step for yourself and your marriage. Click on the link to purchase 👇🏿    https://selar.com/o0o111n214 Refer this journal to the men in your space and actively use it everyday. All you need to know about how the journal works is found inside it. Cheers 🥂 

  We often hold back on starting something, whether it’s a new idea, a movement, or a bold career move, because we are waiting for someone else to go first. 📍 We think, “When they start, I will join in. When they lead, I will follow. When the way is clear, I will step forward.” But here’s the twist - they are waiting for you to go first. They are watching, hesitating, and hoping someone will be brave enough to take the first step. The truth? Every trailblazer started with uncertainty. No one had all the answers before they began. They just had enough courage to start. So maybe you are not just "one of many"; maybe you are "the one". 💦 The one who will make it easier for others to follow. 💦The one who will turn "what if" into "we did it". Stop waiting for permission. Stop waiting for a perfect moment. Go first. Lead the way. Blaze the trail. Because your courage could be the signal someone else has been praying for.

  Ever achieved something big… yet felt like you didn’t deserve it? 🤔 Like any moment, someone will “find out” you’re not as capable as they think? That’s Imposter Syndrome, and it’s stealing the confidence of even the most qualified people. In this new episode: “Imposter Syndrome - The Confidence Killer”, I share how to spot it, stop it, and step boldly into spaces you’ve already earned the right to be in. 🎧 Listen now on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/2WLXONky31GwjVD3rHF6hX

🎉CONFIDENCE UNLEASHED IS NOW OUT!!! The long-awaited has arrived and you would be excited at what it offers. 📖 Excerpt from the E-book  "The first and most liberating truth on the journey to self-confidence is this: you are a human being - and so is everyone else. We often place people on pedestals: the CEO in the boardroom, the eloquent speaker on stage, the confident colleague who always seems to know what to say. And while it is okay to admire others, the danger comes when we begin to see ourselves as less than. Less important. Less qualified. Less deserving of space, of attention, of respect. But here’s the truth: no one is born with more right to speak, lead, or shine than you. We are all flesh, blood, spirit, soul and stories..." 📚 Confidence Unleashed is here! Get ready to discover/take back your voice and stand your ground without apology. Click on this link to buy your own copy of Confidence Unleashed:  https://selar.com/331488ls15

  Countless times, I’ve found myself in rooms and situations where everything - the tone, the faces, the silence - was trying to quench my voice and push me to the background. I was outnumbered. I was alone. But I stood my ground anyway. I spoke up, even when my voice trembled. Because I knew who I was… and what I refused to become: invisible. That decision - to speak up, to hold space for myself - has made all the difference in my life. And it’s the reason I wrote this book: 💥 Confidence Unleashed: How to Speak Up and Stand Your Ground Anytime, Anywhere 💥 This book is for anyone who’s ever: ✔️ Been talked over, brushed off, or dismissed ✔️ Felt pressured to stay quiet just to “keep the peace” ✔️ Been underestimated because of their silence ✔️ Lost themselves trying to avoid conflict You don’t need to be loud to be bold 💪🏻 You don’t have to fight to be firm 🏋🏻‍♀️ But you do need courage, and the tools to express it. 📚 Confidence Unleashed is coming soon. Get re...