Chiderah writes

  Countless times, I’ve found myself in rooms and situations where everything - the tone, the faces, the silence - was trying to quench my voice and push me to the background. I was outnumbered. I was alone. But I stood my ground anyway. I spoke up, even when my voice trembled. Because I knew who I was… and what I refused to become: invisible. That decision - to speak up, to hold space for myself - has made all the difference in my life. And it’s the reason I wrote this book: 💥 Confidence Unleashed: How to Speak Up and Stand Your Ground Anytime, Anywhere 💥 This book is for anyone who’s ever: ✔️ Been talked over, brushed off, or dismissed ✔️ Felt pressured to stay quiet just to “keep the peace” ✔️ Been underestimated because of their silence ✔️ Lost themselves trying to avoid conflict You don’t need to be loud to be bold 💪🏻 You don’t have to fight to be firm 🏋🏻‍♀️ But you do need courage, and the tools to express it. 📚 Confidence Unleashed is coming soon. Get re...

  It’s often said that if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go with others. And it’s true. The value of surrounding yourself with like-minded, success-driven people cannot be overstated. 📍But here’s something just as important: You must understand the rules of engagement when walking with a group, so you don’t fall into the subtle traps that can come with it, even in the most successful circles. Here are three dangers to beware of, and how to avoid them: 🔹Losing Your Identity You are unique - not perfect, but valuable. That uniqueness is your contribution to the world. But in trying to fit into a group, you might unknowingly trade your personal identity for the group’s identity. 🔻Remedy: Be intentional about making your individual self known. Let people see YOU - what you stand for, what you bring to the table - beyond the group or clique. 🔹2. Comparison that Leads to Either Pressure or Comfort Being in a group can blur your sense of progress...

The thought that you are not irreplaceable should not make your heart sink or scare you. If it does, it could mean that your self-esteem is not as healthy as it should be.  I would like you to note the following: 🌹You are special but not irreplaceable. 🌹You are a genius but life will always move on in your absence. 🌹You are the sweetest person in the world, but people will always have others walk into their lives when you are gone. 🌹You can be missed but not lived without. 🌹Your exact person and uniqueness cannot be replaced. However, there would always be someone that people would adapt to when you are gone, even if that person is a terrible option. It's a truth that most people are yet to tell themselves, that they are not irreplaceable. However, that is the truth that would set them free. It would marvel you how people can cope really well without you. But that shouldn't surprise you if you have understood and accepted the fact that no one is irreplaceable. You, as well...

  “...Don’t throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you." Matthew 7:6 You have to be discerning.  Not everyone has the ability to discern your value and reward your true worth. Therefore, don't bother giving yourself or value to a person or people who are undeserving. Entrust people with the extent of you which they can appreciate, based on their level of understanding.  The costliest painting in the world is Mona Lisa by Leonardo Da Vinci, valued at $870 million, according to BelArt Gallery. That's a lot of money for one painting, right? However, it is valued that much because people, who were discerning of its worth, placed a corresponding value to it. Think about this question deeply: • Could it be that you have been viewing your worth through the lens of people who are undiscerning of your true worth? It is time to pick those pearls you threw before the "pigs" (the people who can't understand your true worth), and mov...

  Perspective is a matter of knowledge, growth and advancement. 🩸Two people see a piece of clothing material. One person sees it as a finished product to be wrapped around the body, the other sees it as a raw material that will be designed into a fabulous attire. 🩸Two people see a palm fruit. One person throws it into his mouth, eats it and walks away. While the other plants it and gains a whole palm tree, with the plan to process the palm fruits into soap, body cream, drugs and more. Your perspective determines your drive, your expectations and your commitment. People cannot grow beyond their perception of what success is about. They can settle for less still believing that they got the best out of life. What you may consider as your starting point may be someone else's peak. It's all about perspective. And your perspective is formed by what you know. You should be mindful of the people that rub off on you. 🌻Choose to interact with people who see bigger pictures of w...

The fact is this, there's nothing you may say now that has not been said before, one way or the other. However, 🌻Nobody can say it the way you would. 🌻Nobody can give it that profound meaning the way you would. 🌻Nobody can reach your audience the way you would. 🌻The impact your words will make to your audience would be deep and transforming. That's a lot of difference! You are the difference! So, speak it! do it! write it!  Because it comes from you, whether said/done a million times, it's different and unique! Vous êtes très speciale🌻 Welcome to the beautiful month of June🤩

  There's an Igbo adage that says, "Ahú ihe ka ubi, èréé óba" (If one sees something greater than the farm, one sells the barn).  It means that if you see (foresight) what is bigger and better than what you have, you'll sell what you have to get that thing. I like to use Igbo adages. They have deep and instructive🙇 meanings. There's a level of growth and understanding you'll attain which will make you consider your present earning or level in your career as unfit to remain in. In that situation, you'll "sell that barn" in order to step into that desired place. Foresight🧐 is the ability to judge correctly what the future will be and prepare for that future. If you quit your job to further your studies or take a training, it may seem you just lost the money you will make while working that job. But the level that additional training, schooling or certification will place you afterwards, will exponentially increase your relevance, demand as well a...

💪Resilience is the capacity to withstand or to recover quickly from difficulties. It is that characteristic exhibited by some trees, in that when a heavy wind blows against that tree, the tree bends backwards almost to breaking point, but you see it spring back up afterwards. The world comprises of challenges and how you take challenges define the outcome of your life. Being tough is a matter of your inner being and not your outward appearance.  In Igbo language, there's a proverb that says,"Mberede nyírí dike; mberede ka eji amara dike." When translated into English language, it means, "Sudden adversity weighs on the strong; in sudden adversity the strong is known."  Fire is not interesting at all, but it reveals the beauty of gold! Having it bread and butter does not give you the accurate picture of life and it does not give you any inspiring story to tell. Such stories are capable of strengthening the weak and giving hope to the hopeless. The challenge you f...

 Do you like yourself? 'To like' according to the Cambridge dictionary means: "to enjoy or approve of something or someone" >Do you enjoy being you? >Do you like the way you talk, smile, laugh? >Do you admire you and are happy that you are you and not someone else? I have come to that point where I look at my picture and I'm happy to be me. I like the way I smile, laugh, talk or even stare, regardless of what anyone may think. There are times after hearing myself talk, that I would lavish accolades on me. I would be like, "Wow, you are really smart. I mean, you really have good brains and wisdom to have come up with such great lines." Enjoying and approving yourself is the gate pass to genuinely enjoy and approve of others. You cannot give what you don't have. If you can't spot out the gift(s) and abilities you have, how will you be able to see that in another? Jesus was careful to say, "...love your neighbor as yourself." Henc...

The difference in time zones is God's way of informing us that we are not in a competition with another's time and season. Your dawn is another's dusk. Your summer is another's winter. Your rainy season is another's dry season. Stay in your time zone and make the most of it! You complain of the cold while another complain of the heat. You love the sunshine while another wish to see the snow. You are overwhelmed with constant rainfall while another longs for just a drizzle. Make the most of your time and season. Remember that what you have now, where you are now and who you are now may be another's dream or past. Don't beat yourself up now for what is scheduled to come later. Respect process and timing. You can prosper in your time zone!

The happiest moment in your life is not when you can afford to buy anything you want, travel around the world, mingle with top persons in the world, eat anything at any five-star restaurant in the world, the list goes on. The happiest and the most fulfilling moment in your life will be when you realize that with or without all these afore-mentioned accomplishments, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! You are enough as a person, a human being created wonderfully and fearfully and you are enough for the purpose for which you were made. Knowing you are enough is not a licence to be a mediocre. No! It is a licence to be ambitious, to desire to accomplish great things because you know that you are deserving. It is a licence to wait for breakthroughs with your head held high about yourself, knowing that with or without that accomplishment, YOU ARE ENOUGH! It is a licence not to let how many goals you achieve determine how valuable you are considered, because without that goal, YOU ARE ENOUGH! It is a licence ...

  Anything or anyone in your life that requires you to reduce/lower your values, principles, standards, ethics, morals and/or behavior in order to be or stay relevant to you is faulty, defective and not worth being in your space/life. By reducing/lowering your values, principles, standards, ethics, morals and/or behavior, you will be conversely affecting in a negative way the functionality of the needful things or people that depend on your original values, principles, standards, ethics, morals and/or behavior to be and stay relevant to you. Test : If you have a faulty Television set that requires you to reduce the current of your Generating Set in order to function and you have an expensive and new Freezer that it's compressor will be damaged if you effect that reduction, what will you do? For me, I will discard the Television set, save up and buy a new one that can function with the current of my Generating set. I cannot afford to end up with two faulty appliances: the already fa...

You don't need everyone you come across to see your value. You just need that one right person to see the value in you.  You can be an amazing footballer all you want, but until a manager (or someone responsible for the recruitment of football players) of a football club sees how valuable you are and absorbs you into the football club, you will keep rigmarolling in a football academy and remain unknown and uncelebrated. We appreciate the persons of Lionel Messi, Christiano Ronaldo and other football stars because of how sensational they are on the football pitch. However, if the right person didn't see their value and decide to give them a hand to get to where they are now, we will not have the opportunity to have such football champions to celebrate. Truth is, there may have been other players who were better than them in their football academy, but were not chosen. There may have also been other players they were better than but those were chosen before them.  You just need ...

Be vocal about who you are, what you want and what you stand for. Being vocal is far from being rude, abusive or talkative. It is the quality of being able to help people around you understand your difference and uniqueness so that they can differentiate between you and every other person. It is the ability to say NO to disregard or being taken for granted. We live in a world where it is easy to be classified into a group where you may not belong. We live in a world where it is easy to be treated like every other person though you may not like that treatment. Hence, it is your responsibility to make it clear that you don't fit into a general classification and that you are different. You have to let people know that you cannot be spoken to, viewed as and treated as every other female or male. People find it convenient to lump everyone they meet into one group and use the same measure of attitude towards them with the misconception that all are the same. It is only those who are unc...

It is the people in a country that bring wealth to the country. There's no tree in the Government houses of each state in Nigeria and in Aso rock that yields money to the government for the running of the nation as well as the expenditure on the leaders. Nigerians should understand that our leaders don't spend their money while serving in any political position. Rather, we are the ones that feed, clothe and pay for their luxurious life. We do this by the direct and indirect taxes we pay. There's nobody in Nigeria that does not pay tax directly or indirectly. Hence, you should disabuse your mind from thinking that a politician that gives you any amount of money has done you a favor worthy of your loyalty and support. Remember, if that politician gets into power, he will be maintained with your money. He will fly on private jet but you will be trekking or driving on bad roads.  The tax you pay on the phone calls you make, the personal effects you buy, the food, water and clot...

  A sign of good leadership is the improvement of the standard of living of the people in that nation. There should be an improvement on the economy of the nation. The bible records that when David was on the throne, the nation of Israel was unconquerable. Israel was a force to the outside world. There was national security and boundary protection. Also, the economy of Israel was good. It was good to the extent that King David built a magnificent palace without borrowing a dime from any nation. Israel's economy was so good that King David thought to build a temple for God. He had the design of the temple mapped out and the resources were provided by him before he died. The temple was a wonder to behold. Then Solomon came on board as the King of Israel after his father David. He chose to rule by wisdom and that wisdom set Israel on a pedestal which was higher than the nations of the world. The Bible records that during King Solomon's reign, silver was like sand in Israel. Solomo...

  It is noteworthy that this article is not an analysis of the laudable Judgement delivered by Honourable Justice D. E. Osiagor (Judge) but a reproduction of the parts of the judgment where His Lordship held that the Ikoyi Marriage registry can lawfully conduct, celebrate and register marriages, as well as issue marriage certificates. The need to write this article arose due to the booming nation-wide rumour that Ikoyi Marriage Registry is banned, which has led most persons into misunderstanding the above-stated Court judgement.  BRIEF FACTS The Plaintiffs' (Eti-Osa Local Government Council,  Lagos State, Egor Local Government Council, Edo  State, Owerri Municipal Local Government Council Imo State and Port-Harcourt City Local Government Council Rivers State) filed a suit against the Defendants (Hon. Minister of Interior, Attorney General of the Federation and Minister of Justice and Anchor Dataware Solutions Limited) before the Federal High Court, Lagos State in Sui...

One thing that has existed since the creation of man is the will. Free will to make one's choices and decisions is always a part of man's existence. Anything that comes to take away a person's will should be properly scrutinized. No matter how good and beneficial a thing is to human beings, when you force it on them, especially when they are grown-up, it starts to look like it's evil.  There are a lot of diseases that exist on earth at present which are deadly and infectious like HIV/AIDS, Tuberculosis, Lassa fever, Cholera, etc. Why is there no world movement to get everyone vaccinated against them? However, persons infected by these diseases still have the choice to take the treatment or not.  Let's tell ourselves the truth, the development of Covid-19 has caused people to raise eyebrows on the truism of what the government alleges. The surfacing of different variants as if it is calculated to still keep the whole world in fear of Covid-19. Even if they are correc...

  Written by Chiderah Beulah Ojukwu-Ngele There's nobody that has life going smooth for them all the time. Even motivational speakers have days of being unmotivated. They may have issues in their life that can be a thorn in the flesh and have resisted many remedies. Don't even think rich people are always happy. There are times they despair of life, hate life and even money. Things happen to everyone in life. Those who are highly placed have problems that even make them not savour the delicacy served on their exquisite dinning table. Everyone, I repeat, everyone has their share of challenges that are really challenging. Don't even resort to social media to determine the condition of people's lives. Everything there is selected. When it's picture time, it's only natural for us to put on our best smile, use a nice background, dish out our best pose and to crown it all, to use a catchy caption to post it on social media. It doesn't show anything! Don't try ...

Life is like driving a car on the road. You will overtake some cars, other cars will overtake you. That is the normal way of life. No offense is taken. The major concern is your destination. Your destination is more important than counting the cars that overtook you.  Being overtaken by another car does not preclude you from getting to your destination. You just keep moving! You'll get to a junction where every car will take the different turns to their different destinations. A fool is one who keeps up a race competition with another car, while forgetting he has a place he is  going. He is more interested in overtaking the other car just for the sake of it despite the likelihood of an accident.  Don't forget why you are on the road of life. Keep your destination in mind. You'll avoid some senseless chase, while patiently keeping on to get to your destination. Written by Chiderah Beulah Ojukwu

Rejection can be your stepping stone to self-actualization. I know a lawyer who was rejected by a notable law office in Lagos even though he was previously offered a job position in the law office. It made him go back to the city in which he completed his national service. Shortly afterwards, he established his own law office in that city-a place considered unlikely for him to practice law, owing to where he hails from. Currently, he has become a shining light in darkness and has influence beyond the said city. I have experienced rejection which made me weak and disappointed. When it seemed that I was down to my last option, one more option came to mind. Amazingly, that door opened! It was better than the others and was what I really desired. You may be knocking on a door which you have passed the level. It may be a door which is not yet time for you to enter in or a door that is not for you to enter. Sometimes, we need to get rejected into a better place. We need disappointments to p...

Temptations and deceptions usually don't look like what they are. They usually mask themselves as opportunities. They come so you can abandon where you are and what you have. They come to give you hope but this hope disappoints. TAKE CAUTION! Most times, when you are having some problems with your God-ordained place or person, the devil introduces the distraction of another option.  The other option is a bait to lure you out of the God-ordained place or person for your life. Those other options are desert clouds: you cannot hold onto them. Like fog they will disappear and make you miserable. If you make the mistake of impulsively deserting the place you were or the person you were with to go for the new option, you will discover that at the end, you lost at both ends.  That is why entrusting one's life to God and trusting God for one's life is the assured life-saving option one has. When these things are happening, you may not understand that their mission is to cause you t...