Chiderah writes

  🏫 At the School Assembly 👨🏾‍🏫 Teacher: It's time to march into your respective classes. Can someone raise a marching song for us? Child 1: 🎶Education, education, education is my right... All: (Responds unmotivated😐) 🎶My right is to be educated. Education is my right. 👨🏾‍🏫 Teacher: (Notices the low morale) Can someone raise another song? Child 2: 🎶 Oh my home... All: (Screams😃🗣️) 🎶OH MY HOME! WHEN SHALL I SEE MY HOME. WHEN SHALL I SEE MY BEAUTIFUL HOME. I WILL NEVER FORGET MY HOME. 😂😂😂😂 We like education. But, please, when are we going home? 😂 © Pretty Serious by Chiderah Beulah

 "I've gone too far to turn back." "I've invested too much time, money and resources into this." "I've built my identity around this." "I've given too much of myself to walk away now." But your life is not getting better. That thing is almost killing you. It is draining you, destroying your focus, affecting your peace, your self-esteem, your health, your relationships, and perhaps even your ability to recognise yourself. Yet you keep holding on because you have already invested so much. 👉 That is the sunk cost fallacy. Sometimes, even people who are supposed to help us navigate difficult situations can inadvertently reinforce this mindset. Some counsellors, whether consciously or unconsciously, build their theories and counselling around enduring, fixing and staying when the wiser thing can actually be to recognise that something needs to be left behind. There is a difference between encouraging someone to persevere through a dif...

  💕 Relationship Consultation with Chiderah (In session) ------------------------------------------------------------- Man: There's a female lawyer I've been asking to go out on a date with me, yet it hasn't worked out. What do I do? Me: Do you know why your female lawyer crush doesn't have time to go on a date with you❓🤔 Man: Please, tell me. I'm curious. Me: Because she takes a lot of dates every week. Man: 😭 I said it! So there are other men she would rather go out with than me?😣 Me: Check her calendar and diary, they are full of dates. If you pay attention to her calls, you'll keep hearing "... schedule a date..." or "... let's take a date..." Man: 😭 I knew it. Been hearing all those "take date", "schedule date", "we need a date", most of the time😱 Me: Sorry man. Can't help you 🥸 Me: (When he leaves) 🤣🤣🤣🤣 . . If you don't get it... Go figure 😂 ©Pretty Serious by Chiderah ...

  This craze and obsession about leadership and headship in marriage has fast revealed the pedophilic tendencies in many men. Mind you, control is nicely termed "leadership" to make it easier to digest. 🙄 Because of the quest to control and dominate, many men hunt young girls and children to marry so they can leverage on their naivety and innocence to assert dominance on them. This craze and obsession for control that has been propagated systemically and structurally in society, and sustained by culture and religion, of a man being the "head" in a marriage relationship, and supposed to "lead" and be "in charge" in the home, has turned many men into...ihe m na-amaghi (what I don't know). Gangsters? Maybe. "Men have to lead. Men are the leaders in the home", they resound. Let me just ask you: You that will work as a civil servant for 50 years, retire, and receive your pension from the government afterwards, what phenomenal plac...

  "Act like a woman, think like a man" What does that even mean? 🤷‍♀️ The first time time I heard that phrase, an alarm went off inside me, even when I didn't have words to express the challenge I had with the statement. First and foremost, that statement suggests that men have a superior thinking than women, which is false in itself. Can we actually open the curtains on what "think like a man" is used to mean? Some would say it means to be logical, but I'd argue that. Given the examples that are used in explaining the logical character of a man's thinking, one would easily note that being cold, unreasonable and unintelligent has been confused with being logical. Being logical is a thought process you grow by conscious effort, and that implies recognising fallacies, while sticking to the actual premises that directly link to the conclusion. Logic is a whole discourse on its own and can be exercised by any gender when developed. Again, "think...

  Penis size is not the measure of a man. There is a conversation about men that we need to have, and more importantly, a conversation that men need to have with themselves. For years, men have been subjected to an extraordinary amount of psychological pressure by society about what it means to be "a man." You must be strong. You must be muscular. You must be sexually dominant. You must have a large penis. You must last long. You must have multiple women. You must never cry. You must never appear weak. You must always know what to do. You must lead. You must win. And, above all, you must prove your manhood to other men. Masculinity, somewhere along the line, stopped being something a man simply IS and became something he is expected to constantly PERFORM. And nowhere is this more obvious than in conversations about sex. It's like...a penis size Olympics. Men compare penis sizes. They boast about them. They joke about them. They exaggerate them. And so...

If the world was so safe for women, If men were not the greatest predators of women, why do we have countless instructions, lessons, and cautions for young girls and women on how not to get sexually assaulted by men? There's a failure in the society and its institutions to call out rape and sexual assault for what it is, and address the real issue: Men are dangerous, beastly, and have to be put on check. Even the finest of them still have beastly instincts, waiting to be unleashed on a vulnerable woman or child. We get countless news of young girls and women getting raped and sexually assaulted. The question is, "By who"? Always a man! There's a recent case of a young girl who was raped by a known content creator, and she committed suicide because of the trauma. And what do we have? People blaming the victim for taking her life. As a society, we should be ashamed of ourselves! And you'll have some disoriented men come out to say, "...not all men..." You ...

We perpetuate trauma and the cycle of abuse when we encourage the continued existence of abusive marriages. Enduring an abusive marriage is not a show of grit. There's a difference between grit and self deprecation. If you have kids, and you are told that staying in a marriage where you are abused whether verbally, physically, emotionally, and more, is for your kids' benefit, that's a huge fraud. Research has shown that children that grow up in abusive homes tend to have lifelong trauma. If they are male, they tend to become abusers themselves; if they are female, they tend to become receptive of abuse from their male partners. This is just the tip of the iceberg. Go read about how being raised in an abusive home can affect children's neurological and cognitive development; its mental health outcomes, physical health complications, and social and behavioural challenges. You will end up destroying the lives of the children you thought you were protecting, and perpetuatin...

I'm convinced that envy stems from a lack of knowledge. Knowledge about you, knowledge about life...just lack of adequate knowledge. The more you grow in knowledge, the less you have to be envious of. What you'll then have, will be an admiration of things and traits; not an envy of the people who possess them. "This bag looks great." "I like how charismatic he is." "She is a really good business woman. I need to learn these business skills." Finish. When you come to terms with your person and who you are, you'll learn to appreciate who others are, celebrate them for their prowess, and leave it at that.  I get to admire some aspects of some people's lives and character, but I, surely, wouldn't want to be them.  It's not cliché talk...like, yo, for real, I can't be you.  I mean, by virtue of the kind of person I am, I might be exhausted by your profession or lifestyle. I may not be that passionate about what you do as you are, so ...

The inequality and prejudice that women face in society do not emerge out of nowhere. Their roots are deeply embedded in the family system. And that family system is, in many cases, shaped by cultural and religious teachings that reinforce the idea that women exist primarily for the benefit, service, and pleasure of men. The family is the smallest unit of society, and whatever is normalized within it is carried into the larger society - into our educational institutions, healthcare systems, workplaces, governments, and every other sphere of human interaction. As young as I was in primary school, I was taught in Social Studies that the nuclear family consists of the father, the mother, and the child(ren) - and  the father is the head of the family. Think about that for a moment. A little girl, barely six years old, is already being taught that a man is the authority in the most fundamental social unit. She observes that her father is served first, receives special portions of food, ...

  Photo credit: CBO creative planet . Have you heard of the term "The motherhood penalty"? It is the systemic disadvantage and loss of earnings women face in the workplace after having children, largely driven by lost career momentum, wage gaps, and caregiving biases. The severity varies globally based on cultural and economic factors. However, its impact is consistently felt across multiple areas of a woman's career. Research shows that in the U.S., full-time working mothers earn about 35% less than full-time working fathers. How will it then look like in Africa? Motherhood penalty does not only include wage gap, hiring and promotion bias, but also the "care penalty", where the burden of unpaid domestic labor and childcare disproportionately falls on women. The cost of child care is high and also is the cost of hiring domestic labour, hence, many women are forced to leave the workforce entirely or take reduced-hour/more flexible roles that pay less. If the...

  I was viewing a presidential contest program for young people, predominantly teenagers, who were given a topic to discuss: "What I will achieve if I become president for one day". The children were eloquent and made laudable submissions. However, each of the judges kept pointing to how unrealistic it would be to achieve those many goals they had listed within one day of being president. The other participants who were yet to present were seated in the audience when that was being pointed out, severally. But it didn't stop the subsequent contestants from presenting numerous goals to be achieved in a day of their becoming president. ❓The question then becomes: Why were the children unable to effect the needed changes to their submissions even after listening to the repeated corrections the judges made to the submissions of the previous candidates? 👉 If you are acquainted with the education methodology in many African countries, your answer would be, "Because the...

  One would think that with the vast amount of resources Africa exports, it would command a significant share of global trade. However, the contrary is the case. Africa accounts for only about 2% - 3% of global trade. Despite producing so much, the continent remains in the lower cadre economically and, by extension, politically. A major reason for this paradox is the over-reliance on foreign expertise, foreign brands, and foreign finished goods, as well as the continuous export of natural resources in their unprocessed state. Africa produces raw wealth but exports it without capturing its full value. Africa depends heavily on foreign goods and services. The continent imports extensively from Europe, America, and many Asian countries. Over time, a strong taste for foreign goods has developed, driving high levels of imports. Consequently, imports exceed exports, leaving little to no retained profit because foreign exchange earnings are recycled back into importation. It is deeply unf...